The Frog Prince: Muppet Theater

 

I am a dork. A geek. A card-carrying member of the Goofball Squad. I have no qualms about this. I don’t pretend to be a smooth, polished, non-Shakespeare quoting “normal” person. Normal is, relatively speaking, a myth. And, to quote the Aunts from Practical Magic, striving to be normal rather denotes a lack of courage. So there. The Aunts have spoken.

I’m a fan of everything from Labyrinth to Florence + the Machine. I secretly want red hair, but I don’t know if I’m brave enough to do it. Henna is tricky, and I’m slightly terrified I’ll end up on the Strawberry Shortcake end of the spectrum. (That happened to a friend of mine in high school. Then, it faded to bright orange. I may have teased her about being a traffic cone. MOVING ON…)

I have an uncanny habit of loving things that no one has heard of. For instance, the MUPPET version of the Frog Prince, which I taped off of the TV as a child. I still have it, complete with a self-made label rendered with masking tape. The tape also includes Raggedy Ann and Andy and a smattering of random cartoons, one of which is called Happy Valley.

The Muppet Frog Prince is a freakin’ wonderful movie. Cheesy, Muppet-y goodness abounds, and there is a song sung in a jumble. You see, the Princess has been cursed! She cannot say, “I want to be the queen!” No, instead, it comes out, “I want to queen the bean!” Try not to laugh at that. I DARE YOU. In my eyes, no other version of the Frog Prince will do, because once you’ve seen Kermit swimming around a pond singing, you cannot go back. It’s impossible. Nothing but Muppets will do.

However, as most people I know haven’t seen this classic (and I no longer have a VCR), I tend to get odd looks when I accidentally quote from this movie. Because I am, as previously confessed, A DORK. At one point, the Muppet King makes a joke, and his steward instructs the crowd, “Polite chuckle!” They chuckle. The King balked, offended, and the steward amends his statement, “Polite chuckle, building to riotous laughter!” At one point, he instructs the crowd, “Large cheer!” The crowd of assorted Muppet peasants oblige.

I say ‘large cheer’ a lot. I could also sing the entire song the Princess (Melora) sings to Robin (the Prince, in Frog form). I won’t. But I could.

To make a silly story short, this tale isn’t on DVD. It’s for sale on VHS, but I don’t own one anymore. I want this, damn it, on DVD:

 

Surely I can’t be the ONLY person to have seen and loved this movie. I refuse to be the Last Unicorn, as it were. So, humor me. Tell me if you’ve seen this. Tell me what obscure random thing you loved as a kid.