Posts Tagged ‘family’

For My Dad on Father’s Day

June 19, 2011 1 comment

When I was a kid, my dad was my soccer coach. Sure, I may have given him a run for his money (I threw up on the field once; another time, I ended up with a sporadic bloody nose), my dad coached my team. He also came to every chorus concert I was in and even the one competition we did at Great Adventure. (No one calls it Six Flags. Sorry.) He taught me how to fish and how to crab — and how to use a drill, saw, and change a flat tire.

Whenever I got lost driving, I called Dad. Okay, let me be REALLY honest: I still do. He is a human GPS, and he gives directions that I can actually follow (“You should see a really big tree soon. When you do, you’re going to turn left.”). One morning, when I was in undergrad, I spent four hours on the phone with my dad, because they closed just about EVERY road I needed to take to get to my school. Patient to his core, he handled my panic, “THIS road is closed TOO!”

My dad is a good person – one of the best out there. He not only helps every member of his family without hesitation, but anyone who needs it. He gives up his seat if an elderly person needs it. He changes flat tires and fixes broken, well, anything. (He’s the handiest person I’ve ever met.)

Granted, Dad has a dry sense of humor – and he likes to tease (me) a lot. It is a sign of affection, really. It’s when he DOESN’T pull your leg that you have to worry. Also, if he sounds serious, he’s probably joking (like the time he told me that the bathtub was blue, and I – silly me – believed him).

I couldn’t have asked for a better dad. He couldn’t possibly be a better person. He might be impossibly difficult to shop for (“I don’t NEED anything!”), but that’s okay. We all have our flaws.

To my dad on Father’s Day – thanks for teaching me math (even when I thought I couldn’t understand cosigns), thanks for putting up with my faults and flaws (who left that drawer open? Ummmm, that’d be me), and thanks for always being there for me. Love you, Daddy.

The Week of Crazy

June 7, 2011 4 comments

My BF is getting married on Sunday. There are lots of things going on this week. I’m not sure I regained the sleep I lost to Atlantic City on Friday/Saturday (it was worth it). I feel like a slow-thinking, knuckle-dragging zombie right now. Without coffee, I think I’d slip right back into unconsciousness.

Today, BF and I pick up our altered dresses. I’ve got dinner plans tonight. Tomorrow, off to run errands and various appointments. Thursday, getting nails done with BF and her sister. Friday — packing, planning, and the last minute panic things.

Saturday, drive to shore. Rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. Attempt sleep, which means BF and I will be up the entire night. Sunday, BF gets married. (Maweed, if you want to quote Long Duk Dong. Or Mawidge, if you want to quote the priest from The Princess Bride.)

I’m giving a toast, which I wrote the other day. I’ve never given a toast before. I’ve introduced professors and fellow students who were presenting their papers. I tend to make jokes. I also tend to feel like my throat has been inhabited by the Sierra.

So, I was a little worried about the speech, since it’s not my usual thing. I, apparently, have done an excellent job. How do I know that? Well, it made my mother cry. Stamp of approval: mom tears. (That is something only a writer can say, yes? Or a sadist. I’m not the Marquis, I promise.)

I feel like BF only got engaged yesterday. It was, for many reasons, a really great day. I’m so proud of her and happy for her. I’m also a little vklempt. My little girl’s all grown up! We’ve been through a lot together. See, blackmail. We’ve had crazy adventures. See, oh my god — what are we doing? We have always been there for each other. See, you mess with her — you mess with me. It’ll always be that way. Now, I just have an honorary brother-in-law. Total WIN.

There will be pictures from the Wedding. My toast will be on video. This will be a hell of a lot of fun. See you folks on the flipside.

Learning How to Be a Writer (Or Dealing with Awkward Silences)

November 11, 2010 2 comments


There are conversations I don’t like having. These conversations usually begin with an innocuous seeming question. This is merely a clever disguise for a lightning sand conversation, which then brings the burst of fireswamp fire, and if luck is not with me, the ROUSs.

Things like, “Are you seeing anyone special?” or “What do you do?” or “Why aren’t you married yet?”

These things are the Gateway to Awkward. But the “What do you do?” is a flaming hoop that bounces, and I usually try and jump through it as quickly as possible – the conversational equivalent of, “Chug it! Chug it!” Hold your nose, and swallow the medicine. As fast as you can. There is no sugar for it.

“I’m a writer.” [blank, or possibly curious look] Then I’m usually asked, “What have you published?”

 At this point, I try and hide. Or I pretend to choke. Or I mutter. Or I just talk very fast in the (vain) hope no one will understand me – and no follow up questions will be asked. (This rarely works.)

 I’ve had a few poems published. A couple of articles. I’ve written two books. None of my short stories have seen the light of day, yet. I’m shopping the second book around, and I’m still vaguely hopeful about it. Because I like the story. I had fun writing it. And I think the characters are interesting.

 But will it sell? I don’t know. That is not, however, the current point.

 As a writer, I often walk around feeling vaguely fraudulent. Like I have adopted a clever disguise, and I’m playacting. When I tell someone that I haven’t published a novel (yet), I usually get asked, “Why not?” as if agents and publishing contracts are something you order from a catalogue or off of the television.

 “I’m in the process of looking for an agent” is often met with, “Weren’t you doing that last year?”

 Er, um. Yes? But here’s the thing: I haven’t found one, yet. It can be about as difficult as finding a job in this bloody effin’ mess of an economy – which, by the way, affects everything, from agents to book-buyers.

Being a writer takes time and talent – and I have at least one of those things. (Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, I’ll be here all week.) It has never once occurred to me to give up, which either means I have tenacity, faith in myself, or I am incredibly stubborn. (Possibly a mixture of all three, but I won’t tell you the proportions for that particular cocktail.)

I am, however, lucky in a lot of respects. I have family and friends who believe in me, even when they suspect I might be crazy. There are people in my corner, so I’m less likely to pull a Hemingway every time I get a rejection notice. (If I can find it, I NEED to share with you the worst rejection I ever received, with the name redacted of course. It was traumatic and childish all at once.)

I’m also lucky that I have people in the writing world that I consider friends. People who have been through the trials, tribulations, and trenches – and have emerged victorious. (No name dropping, but you all know who you are. One of you has purple streaks in her hair. Another has fabulous taste in clothing and shoes. And I owe another a long-deserved drink.) This means if I start to panic, or I’m worried about something, I can ask a question. And I do.

There is a sense of camaraderie. (This is the very first time I’ve been able to spell that word correctly, EVER.) There is a sense of, “I’ve been there. I know what you mean.” I’ve also been at this a while that I know a few things, so I can advise others (minimally, in my opinion, but still).

So, I’ll deal with the awkward silences. They’re par for the course. A right of passage, I suppose. Until I can point to my novel, and go – Look, Ma! Top of the world!

Well, that might not be exactly the words I’d use, but still. Without the awkward silences, how could one appreciate the (future) thunderous applause? Or, in more realistic terms, without the error, I can’t learn. Without the difficulties, I would not appreciate the eventual wins. Let’s face it – if everything came easy, and everyone got exactly what he/she wanted without having to work for it, what fun would that be? It would be boring. And we’d all be very bored.

Plus, every writer I know does not write because it is his/her job. He/she does it because of love. Because it’s like breathing. It’s necessary for life. The same goes for every other artist. A painter paints. A sculptor sculpts. A photographer photographs.

We see what we see. And we want you to see it too.