Home > Uncategorized > Go Searching for Sunshine

Go Searching for Sunshine

            This week, for me, seems to have a theme. Maybe two. It’s been all about perception and honesty. Sometimes, the smallest thing – a conversation, an offhand comment – can shift everything. It’s like someone turned on a lightbulb, and you didn’t realize you’d been sitting in the dark. Except, you were. And now everything is different.

            Don’t get me wrong: illumination can be difficult. But nothing worth having/being/doing is ever easy. Anyone who tells you differently is a lying liar, whose pants are aflame. My point is that an honest conversation can change the way you see a situation. And sometimes, you pick up a clue you didn’t know you were missing in some unrelated event. This has happened to me several times this week. A few minutes ago, I stumbled across a quote from, of all things, Winnie the Pooh: Some people care too much. I think it’s called love.

            That small, simple sentence just shifted a whole heap of things for me. Some things, I already kinda/sorta knew. Others, maybe not. But the funny thing is that I’m able to see something more clearly, which has been a constant development this week. It’s the emotional equivalent of finding money that you forgot about in a coat pocket. Surprise! Here’s the thing that’s yours; it’s been here all along, but you just now found it. Or rediscovered it.

            And that can lead to a new reality. Finding things. Allowing yourself to accept that kind of happy, unexpected gift. Sure, it might’ve been there all along – but you can now embrace it. It’s yours. Do something with it.

            It’s funny, too, the things you sometimes discover about yourself when someone shines a light in your direction. I realized, this week, that if I have one gift, it’s probably complete faith. If I am certain about something or someone (and I’m damn good at assessing people), nothing can shake that faith. If I believe in something, nothing can shake that. I have, I suppose, passionate conviction. There’s no “maybe” in my heart. There’s no room for it, anyway, because I’m basically chockfull of love and sunlight. All of this can surprise people. Especially since I am also the person who takes every kind of risk based on that faith. There’s no higher place to make a decision from than that. Decisions made from habit or fear are never healthy. Decisions made from a place of love and faith? Those are always inspired things.

            That’s what I know. That is, perhaps, what I’ve rediscovered in my emotional pocket, tucked away. I know how to believe. And I know how to believe in the impossible. And god help anyone who dares to question that. Because…no. I come from a long line of stubborn, strong women. And faith is a strange thing when it’s unshakeable: it can move mountains, no matter how painful or difficult. It can also save you when, maybe, you didn’t even realize you needed saving.

            If I were to give you advice based on what I’ve been lucky to learn this week, it’d be this: find whatever, or whoever, makes you feel like sunlight. It might be scary. It might mean radical change. It might cause you pain the process. But life is too short to sit in darkness. Find what lights you up and makes you feel happy and safe. In the end, it’s the light that matters. After all, it’s what chases away the dark, no matter how impossible that might seem.

 

“Some people are so much sunshine to the square inch.” 
― Walt Whitman

 

“We must leave this terrifying place tomorrow and go searching for sunshine.” 
― F. Scott Fitzgerald

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  1. June 12, 2014 at 12:40 pm

    This is so beautiful and so perfectly said. I think you hit on a big issue, a lot of times we’re sitting in the dark and not realizing it. Sometimes we know, but we’re lying to ourselves because all we can see is the pain of change, not the bliss of the sun on our faces behind it. Sounds like a very powerful week in your world. XO

    • June 12, 2014 at 1:12 pm

      Thank you so, so much, chica. You were a big part of these realization for me, btw. Definitely been a powerful week. xoxo! ❤

      On Thu, Jun 12, 2014 at 12:40 PM, alwayscoffee wrote:

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  2. June 13, 2014 at 10:39 am

    Again, as I’ve said countless times before, I think it takes a rare sort of bravery to have so much faith, and to dedicate yourself to that sunshine in people. I will always admire that about you.

    • June 13, 2014 at 11:16 am

      Bravery…or insanity? Because there are moments where I’m just not sure. hehe But, seriously, Liz — thank you so much for that. Those compliments really mean the world to me. ❤ ❤ ❤

      On Fri, Jun 13, 2014 at 10:39 AM, alwayscoffee wrote:

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