Home > Uncategorized > Dangerous Rebellions of Patience and Belief

Dangerous Rebellions of Patience and Belief

“There is no intensity of love or feeling that does not involve the risk of crippling hurt. It is a duty to take this risk, to love and feel without defense or reserve.” ― William S. Burroughs

Confession: Sometimes, I am terrible at being patient. Because to be patient, one must relinquish control – or the idea of control. Patience means taking a step back and leaving something alone. And I’m not remarkable GOOD at that. I’m a doer. A fixer. A speaker. A saver. I’m all action and all heart. So, sitting still? Not natural.

But, then again, sometimes it is necessary. This morning, I kept thinking of a line from The Princess Bride: if you rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles. As silly as it seems, that idea resonates. Rushing doesn’t necessarily mean getting. Quick doesn’t mean better. And fast doesn’t always equal satisfied.

That is so easy to forget in this day in age, where most people want NOW and have forgotten to appreciate the long game – the long run. Yes, it is important to live and be in the moment. But there’s also something to be said for keeping an eye toward the future. It is, as most things are, a balancing act – an act. Your mileage may vary. Your circumstances may transform. Everything changes. This is the constant.

Yesterday, I was reading a bit of astrology. It was from @anneortelee on Twitter. She wrote: End this once and for all. You really do have to let go, to make room for something better.

When I read it, the statement really grabbed me – with iron, icy fingers. My first thoughts were, “I want to be the something the ‘something better’ ” and, “How often do we really get in our way?” The first thought is fairly self-explanatory, even without any context. We all – no matter what the circumstance, relationship, or occasion – want to be chosen. We want to be what somebody wants. We want people to like our art, to listen, and to appreciate us. The basic desire of humanity is, I think, our need to be appreciated for who we are as people. Not what we do for a living. Not how much money we make. Not what we can do for someone us. Who we are – the fundamental core of our being. But that’s another topic for another day.

There are times where we cling like hell to something that is no longer good for us. It’s familiar, and that familiarity is mistaken for ease. It’s what we know, and let’s face it: the unknown is terrifying. So, we keep to old patterns. We walk the same dark alleys. We stay still in even the most uncomfortable spot.

Often times, I think there is this horrible fear that we don’t deserve better. That we don’t deserve to be happy – that we aren’t worthy of the thing that we want, regardless of what it is. So, we feed ourselves excuses and call them reasons. All these conjured ideas of Why Not. We fight even the idea of letting go in pursuit of something better, and it continually boggles my mind.

Because there’s always a way, darlings. If you believe, if you try, if you strive – there’s always a way. And maybe that belief is terrifying. If that’s true (and it is), then there’s really no actual reason to hold yourself back. Especially when you realize that you’re standing in between you…and yourself.

Sometimes, you need a bit of distance to see what you really need. Sometimes, that distance is enough to shift your perspective from fear to belief. Because: you’re never too old. It’s never too late. And it’s never a bad time to fall in love, go after a dream, and be true to yourself.

Passions, wherever they lie, are a strange thing. Passion can twist your world into something foreign. It will steal your sleep. It will occupy your thoughts thoroughly and without mercy. But passion is what keeps us alive. Passion is what makes life living.

Let go of what doesn’t make you madly passionate. Don’t walk away from what inspires your heart. And, for the love of all caffeinated things, go after your desires. Chase what you love. Run after it. Risk everything for it. Because, as Chuck Palahniuk once said, “The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open.”

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Categories: Uncategorized
  1. February 10, 2014 at 4:19 pm

    I love this post. It’s filled with passion and so many great quotes.

    It’s amazing, love and passion, how raw it is and how the deepest forms of it can create such pain and headache for our bodies. However, this pain is a great reminder that we’re alive and it’s a blessing to feel such regard for someone.

    It’s important to express this love, but we do have to keep in mind that patience is a virtue. Some people scare easily, because they may not be used to such displays of emotion no matter how small or large these displays are. The important thing is to be yourself, and if this other cannot accept you, they may not be the right person. That person is out there, of course.

    There is much more that I’d like to write, but I’ll keep this short. Warm regards.

    • February 10, 2014 at 6:24 pm

      Christopher,

      Your comment is wonderful – and it is much appreciated. I agree with you that we can only be as we are — either we are appreciate or we are not. Patience is, indeed, important. It’s a constant lesson for me in certain circumstances. Something I am hardly perfect at. And yet, often times, by letting things be — we often become.

      Thank you, again, for reading and for taking the time to comment. It means a lot. I look forward to any comments you make in the future. 🙂 Warmly, Ali

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