Home > Random Musings > Shenanigans and the Liquor Store that Leads to Narnia

Shenanigans and the Liquor Store that Leads to Narnia

The other day, I hung out with my BFF. At one point, she had some errands to run, and I went with her. We stopped at the pet food store and the liquor store (because CLEARLY those two errands go together). The liquor store in question was bigger than a mall. If you wandered down the wrong aisle, I’m quite certain one would lead to Narnia. Or the Goblin City. In which case: JAREEEEEEETH. *ahem* Moving on…

We found what she was looking for, laughing about some seriously ridiculous products. Alcoholic whipped cream? No, that’s totally NOT a sign you have a problem there, buddy. Not at all. Forget Marshmallow vodka – that’s just wrong. And you should’ve seen her face when I explained what a tequila worm is. “But WHY?” was a popular question.

Annnnyway, we went in search of a checkout line, only to find that there was no one around. The place looked like prime Zombie Apocalypse territory, until we found two random employees chatting. We stood there, waiting for a gap in the conversation. The continued chatting about their lives, while we stood there, pointedly starting at them. Finally, after Godot wandered by and Superman reversed the earth’s axial spinning, the woman turns and asks, “Can I help you?” Let it be known that her tone indicated she didn’t actually want to help, and she was annoyed that her chitchat was being interrupted by her actual JOB.

Me: We’re looking to check out.

Woman: What? What do you want?

Me: (holding up items, speaking louder) We are looking to pay for these.

Woman: Oh. There’s someone in aisle three.

Ladies and gentleman, there WAS indeed someone in aisle three, but she was blocked by a giant cardboard cutout of Captain freakin’ Morgan.

When we got out to the parking lot, I looked at my BFF, and we started to laugh. I may as well have shouted WE WOULD LIKE TO PURCHASE THESE ITEMS at the top of my lungs. This, ladies and gentlemen, is why my BFF and I can go anywhere and amuse ourselves. Aside from the fact that I accidentally yelled BALLS! in the middle of the pet store. Oh, Victoria Dahl would be PROUD. I know.

Life lesson number #47: you really shouldn’t take me out in public, unless you are prepared for shenanigans and the silliness. Lucky for me, my BFF wouldn’t have it any other way.

Categories: Random Musings
  1. Jessica
    August 25, 2012 at 10:26 am

    BWAAAHAHAHA. I have definitely seen my employees do the whole “Dammit why are you interrupting my conversation to make me do my job?” thing. And I have definitely felt it. Particularly when I was a receptionist, because often a solid hour would go by where I would get very into the book I was reading or the blog I was writing, and the phone would ring and I would internally roll my eyes. Hahaha.

    It’s good that you can find humor in anything though – you will have much more fun in life.

  2. Michael Gillan Maxwell
    August 25, 2012 at 11:00 am


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