Passion in a World of Walls
“Passion makes a person stop eating, sleeping, working, feeling at peace. A lot of people are frightened because, when it appears, it demolishes all the old things it finds in its path.
No one wants their life thrown into chaos. That is why a lot of people keep that threat under control, and are somehow capable of sustaining a house or a structure that is already rotten. They are the engineers of the superseded.
Other people think exactly the opposite: they surrender themselves without a second thought, hoping to find in passion the solutions to all their problems. They make the other person responsible for their happiness and blame them for their possible unhappiness. They are either euphoric because something marvelous has happened or depressed because something unexpected has just ruined everything.
Keeping passion at bay or surrendering blindly to it – which of these two attitudes is the least destructive?
I don’t know.” ― Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes
If given the choice, presuming that you have a choice, which would you choose: burning, crazy passion or a life of walls and bricked up moments? Passion is a dangerous, beautiful thing. It’s a lit match in a world of perfectly dried tinder. It’s wrecks, ravages, and razes people without a hint of regret. Without the barest whisper of remorse. Passion alters the course of a life like a dam alters a river: completely.
This, I suppose, is why some people are afraid of passion, afraid of love. It makes us compromise our own lives. It makes us dust off our mirrors and truly look at ourselves. It is a challenge, always daring to be met. It makes us change, take risks, and dance like a wayward gypsy down the street. It is a force to be reckoned with and appreciated.
Of course, passion doesn’t always equal happiness in the same way that love doesn’t always equal happiness. For one thing, another person cannot be solely responsible for another’s joy. That is not only foolish, but it is an impossible desperation. A relationship is a partnership, and for it to work, you have to be your own person. I’ve seen a lot of people fall into that trap of losing themselves for the sake of a boyfriend/girlfriend/marriage, which really diminishes the relationship. Passion can make you forget yourself for a time, but it should never demand that you lose yourself completely. That isn’t quite passion, is it? It’s something more akin to possessiveness. Not the same thing. But I digress.
If given the choice between passion and a world of walls, I choose passion. It’s not even a question, really. If the options are emptiness or insanity, I will pick insanity every time. But I’m still me, even when I’m a little bit crazy. And like I said before, I’m not even sure it’s a choice. In all honesty, though, I don’t know how people wall themselves, caught in a tower of their own making, blaming a witch – playing at Rapunzel.
Trust me, I’ve been hurt enough know better. I know enough to realize the risks, that life may implode, and that all words and wisdoms may fail me at some point. In theory, love and passion are like walking into incoming traffic, jumping into an emotional bonfire, all while holding an ACME time bomb that may or not explode. It’s an endeavor for the very brave or very foolish. But feelings can make you effin’ crazy sometimes, can’t they?
But some people just get under your skin, slip into your heart, nestle up and stay there. Years pass. People walk in and out of your life. Worlds change. Friends fade away. Then, suddenly, a familiar face wearing a smile. Your heart starts again, and you realize maybe it hadn’t been beating. A dam explodes in your head, releasing memories and promises. A spark catches fire, and you are tinder set aflame. What do you then? The answer, to me, is the simplest stupid idea: you give in. You say yes. Because to not do so is to not be true to yourself, to your own heart. That is where, and when, we make our greatest mistakes: when we fail to honor ourselves. A thousand reasons shuffle forth as to why ignoring it, walling ourselves up, would be easier. But the scary, subversive, ridiculous truth is that you only need one reason to stay. One reason to say yes.
To borrow from Frost, I hold with those who favor fire. I cannot live a world of cold. It would kill me, I’m sure of it. What about you?