Don’t Blame the Victim: Or, Why I’m in a Complete Rage

A little while ago, I read this article in the Huffington Post, and it made me want to strangle kittens. KITTENS, people. Poor innocent little furballs. But don’t worry – no kittens were harmed in the writing of this blog. Why? Because I’m not a kitten-strangler OR a serial killer. Moving on…

Let’s get this out in the open, ok? Rape is NEVER a victim’s fault. (Man or woman. And yes, it happens to men, too.) Rape is NEVER something someone asks for. And, lastly, if you put a woman in a room with a non-rapist? NOTHING BAD WILL HAPPEN. You see, there’s no causation related to mere proximity. For the sake of this post, I’m going to use the man-woman dynamic; it save me the trouble of having to write things two different ways.

Rape is not a crime of passion. Rape is not a crime of sex. It is a crime of aggression, anger, and power.

No one asks for it. No one wearing a short skirt is “asking for it.” No one in the military is asking for it, either. That means women serving in the military enlist with the notion that the people they’re serving with aren’t rapists. Unfortunately, in Liz Trotta’s article (NO RELATION, people. NONE.), she incorrectly implies that close quarters + men and women = RAPE.

Think about that for a second. That means if you toss two people in a room for an undetermined amount of time, the end result will be rape. That assumption means two things: 1) rape is somehow unavoidable and 2) the rapist bears no responsibility.

You hear that sound? That’s my blood pressure erupting like some kind of cartoon volcano.

NO. No, no, no, no. That is the most unintelligent, uninformed, callous thing I’ve heard in a while. That demonstrates a basic lack of understanding about rape as a crime and about humanity in general. This is not Lord of the Flies, and we’re not all either the crazed mob or Piggy.

Furthermore, in the Huffington Post piece, Liz Trotta is quoted taking several jabs at “feminists” (which seems to be flung about like an insult, lately, when someone disagrees with a woman. Why?) – one of which is that women want to be “to be warriors and victims at the same time.”

Oh, sweet mother of coffee and chocolate, that is a shitstorm of cracktacular crazy. Claiming that women WANT to be victims is outrageous and appalling. No one wants to be a victim. If someone gets mugged at an ATM, do people rush to fault him/her for BEING at that ATM? Wrong place, wrong time. Wrong shoes, wrong day of the week. No? Then it’s not okay in the instance of rape.

Women should be able to feel safe in the military. A woman shouldn’t have to worry about her fellow officer abusing and assaulting her. When it happens, it’s a crime. The victim didn’t cause it. And as a woman – and a feminist – I am utterly shocked that you used the phrase “raped too much.” ONCE is too much. Like all crimes, it doesn’t have to happen. I think, perhaps, the rational solution is to remove the RAPISTS from the military. Not bash the women who are proudly trying to serve it.

No one asks to be abused. No one asks to be hurt and violated. No one.

ETA: Here’s a piece that Jezebel did on this, complete with a video of the segment where the comments were made.

ETA2: Jon Stewart is, as always, AWESOME. Watch him shatter the crapshow HERE.

  1. February 13, 2012 at 7:02 pm

    As someone who is close personally to the military, this is appalling to me. Most men I know who serve treat the woman beside them as a brother and protect them as they would anyone else. Not only does she offend women who have made the SACRIFICE to serve in defense of our country (as opposed to you know, making babies and dinner), she also makes the men in the military out to be pigs who can’t keep it in their pants. No wonder so many women are afraid to come forward after they are raped, when they get verbally attacked and are made to feel inferior. I have no words for this. NONE. Why have I not seen this soon? Why is the internet not crying for her head?

    Also, I am SO sick of the feminist bashing. SICK.

    • February 14, 2012 at 8:05 am


      You make a very, very good point about what this done to men, as well. I’ve known people in the service, and this is an insult to them, as well. I don’t know why more people haven’t seen this. I am still completely ticked off, today. And the feminist bashing — UGH. Enough already. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. 🙂

  2. Anonymous
    February 13, 2012 at 7:06 pm

    Easiest method to remove the rapists is to form a firing squad. That should get the message across that it will NOT be tolerated.

    • February 13, 2012 at 7:18 pm

      Er, I’m pretty sure a firing squad isn’t an American tenant of justice. Trials, generally, are the way to go — but I do understand your disgust.

  3. February 13, 2012 at 7:09 pm

    *headdesk**headdesk**headdesk* Aaaaaarrrrrggghhhh!

    So she is saying that there is NO man on the PLANET who has an OUNCE of moral fortitude, NO man who, given a long night/week in close quarters with a woman dressed in FATIGUES and smelling like week-old garlic, sweaty socks and fear, can RESIST the urge to take her, right there, in the mud. The question is not whether she’s an idiot, but WHAT KIND OF IDIOT is she and why do they continue to give her a podium?

    And, P.S. I knew she couldn’t be related to you. She wasn’t born with the smart gene.

    • February 14, 2012 at 8:07 am


      It certainly sounds that way, doesn’t it? I just cannot comprehend her reasoning at all. It appeared, too, as if she were glancing at notes when she spoke (there’s a video I forgot to include; I watched it, to make sure she wasn’t being misquoted etc). I don’t have a clue why anyone gave her a podium for this, and I find it horribly funny that she’s bashing feminists. Liz Trotta was, apparently, one of the first female journalists to do an interview on a war front. Kind of ironic, that.

      and thank you for the compliment!!

  4. Liz
    February 14, 2012 at 9:46 am

    *epic facepalm* It will always remain a mystery to me WHY people like her are allowed to write on any sort of public forum. If it was up to me, I’d make sure her hands were permanently tied behind her back for making US unwitting victims of HER abuse through ignorance. Disgusting.

  5. Liz
    February 14, 2012 at 9:48 am

    I also feel that her theory is incredibly offensive to men as well, if you really think about it. It insinuates that men have no self-control or respect, and are essentially just dangerous animals ruled by their urges.

    • February 15, 2012 at 6:45 pm

      It IS! It’s completely insulting to humanity. I’m still pissed as hell. I went back into the entry, btw, and added a video of her speaking — and then one of Jon Stewart taking the issue (and her) to task. Actually, they’re links TO the videos. I couldn’t embed. Stewart = awesome.

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