Home > Don't make me hurt you, only slightly ranty > Dear Asshole Who Remarked About My Crappy Passport Photo

Dear Asshole Who Remarked About My Crappy Passport Photo

“Wow, that was really a different look for you.”

Really, dude? That’s tactful. I marvel at your astute observations and stellar looking skills. Such compliments warm the cockles of my Grinch-like heart. You must have such an easy time with the ladies, if you regularly point out such things. You’re probably that douchebag who suggests his wife or girlfriend hit the treadmill, because she put on a couple of pounds. Or, failing that, your mother still makes your lunches, careful to cut the crusts off your bread. (See? Anyone can make ridiculous generalizations.)

To answer your almost-question, yes, I did look different when I had that picture taken nearly TEN years ago. For one, I was about fifteen pounds heavier. For another thing, I HAD BANGS.Those were, undoubtedly, dark days style-wise. I always may have had  fondness for slightly gold lipgloss. What of it?

I would guess that you, too, looked different ten years back. Maybe you didn’t act like such a jerk. Maybe you smiled when someone smiled at you and asked how you are, like I made the mistake of doing. And maybe, just maybe, you still had all your hair. The difference is that yours is gone permanently. Mine, however, will always grow back. Bummer, eh?

I am very much aware of the ridiculousness of my passport photo. For one thing, the photographer caught me off guard. I am not smiling. I look very serious. This is not a good look for me, but thank you for pointing that out. It is CHARMING. I feel so much better about life, now, knowing that nearly ten years ago, my bangs were man-kyrptonite. Never mind the flawless skin or the questionably applied eyeliner. Clearly, I’ve committed fashion and appearance crimes against humanity. Scoffing at me proves that.

“Wow, that was really a different look for you.”

You know what’d be a different look for you? Removing your head from your sphincter.

Sincerely, The Woman You Insulted

  1. August 31, 2011 at 8:32 am

    Ok, I guess I should ignore the obvious fact that you are insanely beautiful, so the comment in and of itself is completely unfounded. Besides that glaring error, I cannot fathom why people make these types of comments – as if they are productive in any way, shape, or form. I presume it is because these people feel so badly about themselves that they need to lash out at others to feel better. No matter what the reason, I find it more than mildly irritating. I grew up during the 80s and 90s – I know fashion mistakes very well; however, I don’t need them pointed out to me. Trust me – I would rather have lived through big hair, slouch socks, and bright blue eyeshadow then be an ignorant ass. On behalf of women everywhere who have received these types of comments, I thank you for this post.

    • Ali
      August 31, 2011 at 10:20 am

      Gah! I am not. *blushes* Like you, I can’t fathom WHY people make this type of comment. It is truly odd. As for fashion mistakes, I have made many of them. Some involving side ponytails and bows. BOWS. *grin*

  2. August 31, 2011 at 8:54 am

    Ummm…and you didn’t post the picture? C’mon, I need a laugh today! 🙂 xoxo

    • Ali
      August 31, 2011 at 10:20 am

      Noooooo! haha I will find something else to make you laugh, though…*grin*

  3. Liz
    September 1, 2011 at 10:53 am

    Ok uhm…. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. Jessica
    September 8, 2011 at 4:41 pm

    When I went to London, I had 3 agents examine my passport before agreeing that the terrible photo of my in my passport is actually me. It was awful.

    I am so excited to renew it this year, because I get to take and mail in my own replacement photo. (My drivers license photo, on the other hand, I will never change, because I think I actually look nice)

    I really don’t know why people feel the need to comment on such things. There is no way for it to go well. Haha.

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