Home > pissed off and totally ranty > Blaming the Victim: What the Unholy HELL?

Blaming the Victim: What the Unholy HELL?


I’m not an angry person. I’m more likely to hug you, instead of hit you. As a kid, my parents *might* have referred to me as the Hug Monster. Yeah, like The Cookie Monster, except with hugs. MOVING ON.

This isn’t about me. Not really. This is about gross negligence and the mentality where we BLAME the VICTIM. Few things make me angrier than that. It’s like kicking a puppy when it’s already injured, then backing over it with your car. In no uncertain terms, it’s wrong.

Now, this morning, I read this. Go read it. Take your blood pressure medication first. Or a valium.

Are you back? Good. Are you angry? Good. Because that is just bullshit. Pure and simple, there’s no way I can pretty that up.

Making a girl APOLOGIZE to the man that attacked her? Expelling HER? Acting in such a manner that allowed her attacker to then HUNT her down and RAPE HER?

You have GOT to be shitting me. I’m completely ticked off. It is unacceptable. You don’t blame the victim (even Dr. Phil will tell that). You don’t ignore the facts. You know what you do? You protect people who might be in danger. You err on the side of caution. You don’t sit on your hands and let someone hurt someone else.

This girl was harmed in such a way, I can’t even imagine proper reparation. There isn’t any. Because the school district was not only negligent, but abusive. I’d like to know why they were so keen on blaming the victim, and why they seem to have a desire to protect the male student. You know, THE RAPIST.

Here are the facts. This girl was raped TWICE. Not only did her school district do NOTHING, but they punished HER. Why is this even happening? I can’t help but this of the cheerleader who got a ton of crap for not cheering for her rapist. This is not only cruel and ridiculous, but things like this are psychological damaging.

Any psych 101 class will tell you: don’t blame the victim. You know what else tells you that? Common sense, decency, AND A FUNCTIONING BRAIN.

I’m pissed about this. I’ve never been raped, but I know a lot of women who have been. I know a lot of women who suffered because of it, who spent YEARS internalizing and eating shame like candy. You know what? That was WITH support. I can’t imagine my friends dealing with a rape in the face of such criminalization. It’s unconscionable.

That girl? She’s somebody’s sister. Or niece. She’s somebody’s daughter and best friend. She’s the person you see at the supermarket. Or the girl you went to summer camp with. I hope to God that she doesn’t feel alone. I hope she sees that there are people out there who are enraged on her behalf. That there are good people out there, who not only do not BLAME her, but are on her side.

Count me as one of them.

  1. August 17, 2011 at 10:09 am

    Reading stuff like this makes me wish for the return of public hangings or decapitations. Or at least for the return of the public floggings. At the very least. That school’s administration would have made a very nice display in the stocks, what do you think?

    I suppose we should also all thank those women who really did falsely accuse men of sexual harassment and/or rape in order to extort money. This was bound to make things worse for the real victims and – voila! – it’s happening. Grrrrr….

    • Ali
      August 18, 2011 at 8:45 am

      Maria, things like this just make me angry. It’s not only ridiculous, but potentially psychological damaging. *grumbles*

  2. beverlydiehl
    August 17, 2011 at 11:24 am

    This is why we need SlutWalks (and I’m proud to have been a part in ours in LA in June.) Because there are so many, MANY misconceptions about rape, assault, and victim blaming. I posted extensively on it here: http://writinginflow.blogspot.com/2011/06/its-not-really-rape-if-busting-myths.html because even though many people now give lip service to “Rape is an act of violence, not of sex,” there are still way too many who believe that somehow, in some way, the victim “asked for it.”

    Common factor in rapes? Presence of a RAPIST.

    • Ali
      August 18, 2011 at 8:46 am

      Beverly, I’ve never been to a SlutWalk, but I think they’re awesome. Thank you for posting a link to your blog entry. And the whole notion that a woman ASKED for it? Totally makes me angry. Thanks for reading and commenting; I appreciate it.

  3. August 17, 2011 at 6:25 pm

    I didn’t even get through the whole thing and I’m livid. >.<

    • Ali
      August 18, 2011 at 8:47 am

      Trust me, the entire article just made me angrier and angrier…

  4. Jessica
    August 18, 2011 at 3:30 pm

    I saw the headline today and I couldn’t even bring myself to read the article at all. It scares the shit out of me that there are people who think those actions are rational, or even REMOTELY acceptable. That poor girl.

    • Ali
      August 19, 2011 at 7:59 am

      It made me very angry, on a She-Hulk level. *turns green*

  5. August 22, 2011 at 10:42 pm

    Wow. There are no words for how bloody effed up this is. That poor girl. I hope the entire school administration is sacked.

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