“And then, God created man. And I wanted to thank her right then and there for the snake, the apple, and the free will to mess up the entire world.” ~from the movie Girl

Somewhere around 1999/2000, I was completely in love with the movie Girl. Don’t worry – I’m the only person, apparently, who has ever seen that movie. I own it on DVD. I also just bought several songs featured in the movie.

Let me tell you about Girl. It’s a weird blend of real life and art. It is about a girl (duh) coming of age, falling in love with a guy in a band (Sean Patrick Flannery) and trying to navigate that relationship. It has a loaded cast (Dominique Swain, Tara Reid in a role I really adore, River Phoenix, Selma Blair, Portia de Rossi, and a bunch of late 90s staple actors/actresses). This includes Channon Roe, who I will forever remember as the guy raising his friends as zombies in that one episode of Buffy.

The band that Todd Sparrow (Flannery) fronts is called The Color Green. Apparently, the director did the vocals and that is his band (later renamed the Jon Kahn band, I think). This movie could’ve been just another foray into adolescent angst. It’s not. (Note: the movie is based on a novel. I vaguely remember reading it, but disliking it. I think the movie version tainted my vision.)

Told mainly from Andrea’s (Swain) perspective, the movie is clever. Why? Because it taps into something that every person has experienced: trying to figure out why we like someone.

What I didn’t understand was why was this boy a part of me? What did he have that I wanted? What did he have that I needed?

Who hasn’t suffered from the same maddening thought pattern? Sure, you can answer that factually – he makes me laugh. He’s nice. He has a cute butt. Whatever.

That only scratches at the surface of things, because there is something utterly indescribable about attraction, about liking someone, and hell – about loving them, too.

You can get pretty damn close to transcribing love, to translating it – but it’s all just dancing about architecture. Inevitably, something gets left on the emotional cutting room floor. And that’s okay. Because I think if we could describe love, perfectly, it would lose a bit of the magic. It’s like finding the tooth fairy isn’t real – or how the magician hides the coin in his hand.

Once you discover that, you never see it quite the same.

  1. Jessica
    August 4, 2011 at 5:08 pm


    *lip quiver*

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