Home > only slightly ranty, Random Musings > The Albatross of Maybe

The Albatross of Maybe

I wonder if we try to make things work too often. If we force things instead of just letting them be. I was thinking about that idea last night as I was trying to sleep. This morning, the thoughts are still with me.

How often have you said (or heard someone else say), “If I can just change this, everything will be better?” Or “If I try a little bit harder, this will work out?”

We say those things a lot. And I’m all for putting in the necessary work, whether it’s the pursuit of a personal goal or relationship. Everything worth having is worth working for. Otherwise, it’s not going to happen.

Over the years, I’ve learned not to push things (and people) to the point that I used to. Things don’t fall in to place like some magic from a fairytale. You have to get your hands dirty. And you also have to be willing to look at any given situation and SEE it. You can’t will something to happen. (I’m sorry. I’m shattering illusions, here. But The Secret? That’s a load of crap that boils down to…think positive! That’s not a revelation. That’s an attitude.)

If it’s not working, stop doing it. That sounds simple, doesn’t it? But hell, it’s often so hard to do. We get stuck on ideas and people, like a skipping record. Whether it’s simple for comfort’s sake, or because we’re fixated on the IDEA of a person or adventure, it doesn’t matter. The result is still the same, and we often suffer for it.

So, let me repeat that: if it’s NOT working, STOP doing it. Stop banging your head against the wall, expecting different results. See, insanity. And, also, a doctor. You probably have a concussion.

Why waste that kind of time and effort on something that either isn’t working or is making you miserable? It’s far braver to recognize the damage and do something about it. Like the human version of Spring cleaning. Sift through what works, what doesn’t work, what MIGHT work, and what could never in a million years come to pass. It’s its own kind of freedom, getting rid of that weight, that Albatross of Maybe that really is the Albatross of HELL NO.

Otherwise, your new name is Sisyphus, and you’ve made your own boulder.

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  1. June 18, 2011 at 9:42 am

    I agree it does take more to walk away from something or someone than to keep trying. Also sometimes it’s takes a lot not go back and give it one more try, even if you know it won’t be good for you.

  2. June 18, 2011 at 6:03 pm

    I’m all for never giving up and try, try, try again, but I think you hit it on the head here. When people use those cliches, they don’t mean “Try the exact same thing over and over and over again.” They mean try one thing, and if it doesn’t work, try something else. If something isn’t working, it means it’s time to try something new.

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