Home > Random Musings > Six Reasons Why I’ll Stop Following You on Twitter

Six Reasons Why I’ll Stop Following You on Twitter


A few simple reasons why I’ll unfollow you. These are not guidelines, like the Pirate Code. Now, pass the rum.

1)      All you do is market. If 99% of your tweets are “Buy my book!” or “Buy my friend’s book!” or “That reminds me of MY BOOK!” – I will run for the proverbial hills. So will everyone else. You have the Bad Marketing Plague, my friend. You are Typhoid Author, and no one wants to sit next to you at lunch.

2)      You complain about your children ALL the time. I know that it’s the Internet, but do YOU really want your kids to stumble on to Twitter (when they’re older) and see Mommy and Daddy complaining about how expensive they are? Or how annoying is it to take them to the doctor? Or how about how tired you are of helping with their homework? Yeah, that’s not cool. Note: if you’re joking about these things, that’s one thing. But if you’re serious? Grow up.

3)      You tweet your spouse all the time. Voyeurism is all well and good, but I don’t want to feel like I’m peeking in your bedroom window. Sure, it’s awesome to show the world that you do, indeed, love your guy/girl – but really, pet names? Calling your wife/husband ‘snookums’ or ‘puppy?’ Somebody should slap you. That’s called trying too hard.

4)      You turn out to be a jerk. (I’m looking at you, Chachi). For anyone who was living under the earth’s surface, check out his tantrum(s).

5)      You make me uncomfortable. Sometimes, people manage to do the internet version of the Creepy Guy at the Coffee Shop – you know, the one who stares at you like you’re his last meal, or like he’s seen/read Dexter too many times? Yeah, that guy. The tactics vary, since it’s the feeling that matters, but when I start wondering if you have lotion in a basket? Bad. Very bad. (Beer bad, folks.)

6)      You TweetBash. On more than one occasion, I’ve seen people get angry that so-and-so stopped following them. He/she then attempts to make a public spectacle out of it. If I’m watching that happen, and you seem to be having a fit? Well, I’m in NO mood to play snake with you. (I really should apologize for that joke. I SHOULD. I won’t.) If I see you abusing other people, or acting like a five year old, that turns me off.

 Why do YOU stop following people on Twitter?

  1. April 7, 2011 at 9:59 am

    Wow, I didn’t know Baio was crazy… oh the flawed logic of the ranty. I like your reasons for not following, I really need to create a giveaway twitter so I can stop spaming the few followers I have, though I never use it otherwise, so I can’t be that annoying yet…

    • Ali
      April 7, 2011 at 10:02 am

      Baio went epically bananas. It was crazy-pants. Also, how did I not know you’re on Twitter? *runs off to find you*

    • Ali
      April 7, 2011 at 1:57 pm

      Thanks, Jess! I’ll add you when I get back on there, later!

  2. April 7, 2011 at 1:55 pm

    I am not on twitter, and based on what I’ve heard about it so far, I don’t think I am missing anything.

    • Ali
      April 7, 2011 at 1:57 pm

      I think it’s a really great way to engage with people I wouldn’t otherwise. I’ve became acquainted with so many authors that way — they’re a funny, funny lot.

  3. April 7, 2011 at 2:09 pm

    These both sound dreadfully petty, so I warn you in advance, ha. I can’t think of good examples, but if I could, I’d sound less petty, promise!
    7. Your updates are deliberately self-indulgent or one-note. I know, this one is a bit mean and contrary to the purpose of Twitter, but if all your updates are “me me me I look good today” or what not, I get annoyed.
    8. You don’t follow me. This is because I have a protected twitter. So if I am following you and you are not following me, then we really can’t communicate at all (my comments to you won’t show up). And now for extra bonus points, I feel like a stalker, ha, because there is no communication taking place. It just makes me think that I must not be quite wanted, so I should unfollow since they are not following back.
    Of course, none of this ever applies to people who take adorable parrot-cat photos. 🙂

    • Ali
      April 8, 2011 at 8:46 am

      Those aren’t petty. The last thing I want is to be inundated with a string of, “I had a cheese sandwich!” Unless that was the BEST cheese sandwich ever, hand-delivered by Johnny Depp or David Boreanaz, I don’t care.

      I totally get the non-following thing. Also, I DO follow you, so of course none of that applies to me. *grin*

  4. April 7, 2011 at 3:28 pm

    All very good reasons to stop following anyone (blog, twitter, etc.).

    • Ali
      April 8, 2011 at 8:46 am

      Thank you! And thank you for taking the time to comemnt. 🙂

  5. April 8, 2011 at 8:42 am

    Excellent. Ditto for Facebook. And I would add one: Too many policitcal bashing posts. Hate that!

    • Ali
      April 8, 2011 at 8:46 am

      Oh, man. I totally agree! That gets on my nerves SO much.

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