Home > Random Musings, television show wisdom > Once and Again: A Few Thoughts on Love

Once and Again: A Few Thoughts on Love


There is no right time to fall in love – and there’s certainly no right time to fall out of it.

It boggles my mind, sometimes, how often we live our lives by someone else’s clock. Oh, this is where I’m supposed to be. This is what I should be doing. I’m falling woefully behind.

As if life is made with a checklist, and nothing more. That is, in my caffeinated opinion, the lowest form of bullshit. There’s no set path to happiness. There’s no right way to navigate life. You are, yourself, the starring character in a fairytale. You have to find your way through the wood, dodging the wolves and the evil queens, as well as the occasional spindle.

But then there is love, which is never rushed or reasoned out. It isn’t easily recognized. Sometimes, you run from it. Sometimes, it purses, and other times – not so much. There’s one thing Taylor Swift and I both know: love doesn’t ride in on a white horse.

If love does…get thyself to a doctor. You might have a concussion. Or very high fever. (One of my friends once hallucinated bears.)

Given that V-Day is quickly approaching, the conversations on or about love have multiplied like rabbit tribbles. That’s worse than regular tribbles, in case you didn’t know.

And here is what I believe. Are you ready?

We make too many excuses. We find reasons to avoid love, because it’s scary. It bites. It sometimes wakes you up in the night. I don’t think there’s a right time or a good time to find or fall in love. If you wait for the perfect opportunity, you will always miss it. It does not exist.

Let me repeat: it does not exist.

I’m reminded of something Anton Chekhov wrote in his short story On Love (or About Love, depending on the translation). It’s something I’ve held close over the years, a warning – a beacon. A lighthouse of crazy, perhaps. But still, it’s true.

“…and with a burning pain in my heart I realized how unnecessary, how petty, and how deceptive all that had hindered us from loving was. I understood that when you love you must either, in your reasonings about that love, start from what is highest, from what is more important than happiness or unhappiness, sin or virtue in their accepted meaning, or you must not reason at all.”

For that, you can blame the tv show Once and Again, which was one of my absolute favorites – until it was given the ax. I’m still waiting for the third season to come out of DVD, btw.

I digress. Sometimes, those things that keep us from loving, and living, are self-made. They are barriers we erect with fear and bullshit.

If you have an opportunity to love, take it. Don’t run away from it. The timing doesn’t matter. You create the time if it comes down to it. Anything else is less than true. And it’s less than you deserve.

So, that is my advice to you – whether or not you asked for it. Whether or not you expected it. What you do with it is up to you.

Maybe Grace Manning says it better than I do.

  1. Addy
    February 11, 2011 at 11:51 am

    Once again, well-written 😀

    • Ali
      February 15, 2011 at 12:31 pm

      Thanks, Addy!!! Good to have you reading here. 🙂

  2. Jessica
    February 12, 2011 at 6:29 pm

    You rock.

    I think we’re definitely scared of love. It requires a very serious degree of vulnerability and openness to love someone. You’re trusting them not to hurt you, and sometimes you shouldn’t. It’s our own fear of being hurt that keeps us from loving.

    • Ali
      February 15, 2011 at 12:32 pm

      Love can be scary — and man, being vulnerable? Pretty much sucks. Sometimes, conquering that fear leads to good things. May we forever remain hopeful…

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