Home > Random Musings > Etsy, Lies, and Stories

Etsy, Lies, and Stories

 

I’m a big fan of etsy.com. All handmade goods, at reasonable prices, bought from brilliant artists. From clothing to furniture, Etsy has it all. (You should see the jewelry. Best place to buy well-made, beautiful jewelry. Did I mention I like jewelry?)

Unfortunately, today, Etsy’s made me angry. Not the website itself, but someone I bought an item from two years ago. I somehow missed feedback from a Seller, from 2009.

I’m irrational angry at this person I don’t know. I’ve dealt with her once. We aren’t likely to ever meet. But who is perfectly reasonable all of the time? No one.

So, this anger. Why? Because the Seller lied. Blatantly.

I bought an anniversary gift for my parents. The Seller had given me an arrival date for the item, after I inquired about it. The date passed, and the item wasn’t there. I waited a week before contacting her, asking where the item was and if something had gone wrong. I was curious, but polite.

She said nothing. Not a word. I started to panic a little. The gift wasn’t cheap. I had already shown the picture to my parents. How was I going to fix it?

A few days later, with a word, the gift arrived. (Yay!)

But what about the silence? The unanswered message? It was stressful and unprofessional. It wasn’t a good transaction. I gave the seller neutral feedback – praising the item, but not the service, stating that her communication was lacking.

Apparently, the Seller thought lying would be a good idea. She claimed that I ordered the item three days before the event, and then was upset that it didn’t arrive on time.

Yes, that’s exactly what happened, in a parallel universe somewhere in the land of delusion.

(Some point between then and now, she sent me a “kiss and make up” request – and you KNOW what she can go ahead and kiss.)

I don’t like it when people lie. I don’t like it when people lie about me. And this isn’t just about the Seller lying. This is about human behavior. People can be downright mean, snarky, bitchy, and crappy. No question about that. If you tell me otherwise, I’d like to know what you’ve been smoking.

When I was in middle school, a bunch of the girls (myself included) got called into the guidance counselor’s office. I cannot remember why. Probably because it was over something so trivial that my brain deleted it. I remember telling the truth of what I heard and saw.

Then, Barbara – the cowardly thing that she was – lied for one of the Popular Mindless Idiots (the same girl who put tape in my hair during math class – no, I haven’t forgotten). I sat there, dumbfounded – my jaw literally hanging open. I protested, insisting that Barbara was wrong. The Counselor (gem that she was) basically told me to shut up.

It took me years to realize that the Counselor didn’t care about the truth. She wasn’t really there to figure out what happened. No, she just wanted the matter settled, so that life could go on – and we could get back to class.

Me? I’m a truth junkie. Give it to me, and give it to me straight. I don’t care if I don’t like it. I don’t care if it makes me angry. Sometimes, I don’t even care when it hurts my feelings.

I want to know. I want The Truth (however obscure, slanted, or individually defined).

We don’t always get the truth, do we? We don’t always give it, find it, or receive it. Sometimes, we even hide from it.

So, I’m irrationally irritated at a Seller on Etsy. It happens. It reminds me, though, that we can’t control other people – no matter how much we want to, or how wrong they are.

We write our own story in life. That story overlaps with others. Sometimes, people scrawl in the margins, tear at the edges, or break out that awful red pen.

People lie. Rumors get started. Stories are born.

And we learn what we can. I know, for certain, I won’t buy from that Seller twice.

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  1. February 3, 2011 at 9:25 pm

    Ali, I am sorry you had a bad experience, love. I dislike it when other sellers give the rest of us a bad name – just as I dislike it when bad people give the rest of us a bad name by lying, cheating and generally being assholes . You can always come and buy from me – I always ship on time and maintain excellent communication. 😀

    • Ali
      February 6, 2011 at 9:59 pm

      I keep meaning to check out your etsy shop! I do love that place. 🙂 I’ll give your store a look soon. 🙂

  2. February 5, 2011 at 7:03 pm

    “Me? I’m a truth junkie. Give it to me, and give it to me straight. I don’t care if I don’t like it. I don’t care if it makes me angry. Sometimes, I don’t even care when it hurts my feelings. I want to know. I want The Truth (however obscure, slanted, or individually defined).”

    This passage made my heart sing. You know, Ali, that we look at things differently in many ways, and I sometimes wonder how we get along, ha. But now I know. 🙂

    • Ali
      February 6, 2011 at 10:00 pm

      I’m glad, Greek. We do look at things differently, sometimes — but I always find it’s in a constructive way. We can agree to disagree, without discord. And then we DO have an overlap, which is good. Anyway, I’m really glad that you liked this. 🙂

  3. February 7, 2011 at 12:41 am

    I recently had to come face to face with the past of me that agrees wholeheartedly with you when you say,

    “Me? I’m a truth junkie. Give it to me, and give it to me straight. I don’t care if I don’t like it. I don’t care if it makes me angry. Sometimes, I don’t even care when it hurts my feelings.

    I want to know. I want The Truth (however obscure, slanted, or individually defined).”

    I always claimed that if someone had a problem with me, had legitimate criticism of me, or was bothered by me, I wanted to know – specifically if it was a friend. And when a guy confronted me in December about my behavior towards him (a lot of mixed signals on his end were involved) I was angry. And then it hit me that I say I want this. Would I have wanted him to not tell me? No. Granted, he didn’t go about it well, but that wasn’t the point. I had to keep telling myself, this is what you want.

    So I guess that’s part of growing up – embracing productive pain.

    (And I swear, it wasn’t until I wrote this comment that I noticed Greek had quoted the same portion of text!)

  4. Jessica
    February 9, 2011 at 9:50 am

    I, like you, am a truth junkie. Which is ironic, because I feel as though I get lied to more frequently than the average person might. And the thing that frustrates me the most is that I so often have people insist to me that they aren’t lying, when I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are. Whether their trying to spare my feelings, or get their own asses out of trouble, there is nothing more frustrating than someone who is clinging to a lie that has long since been discovered. Drives me bloody crazy.

    • Ali
      February 11, 2011 at 9:49 am

      I think that’s part of the reason we’re truth junkies — because we hate being lied to. (Wow, that was almost a really funny typo.) It drives me crazy, too, Jess.

  5. Anne
    January 1, 2015 at 11:34 pm

    I’m becoming incredibly sick of dishonest sellers on Etsy. I’ve been burned twice now by two different sellers claiming to sell nickel free earrings. What was I left with? Earrings I paid for I can’t wear.
    Not to mention the sellers that claim their product is handmade or vintage or antique when in fact, they’re not. Wholesale then mark up the price, but claim it’s antique or handmade by you. I’ve seen multiple sellers selling the same product, but claiming different facts about the product.
    I’m also tired of pdf patterns being sold anywhere from $4.00 to $15.00 where the sellers claim to have come up with the pattern himself/herself when they did not. They lie about their story and why they are only selling patterns and scoot you along to other etsy sellers who have bought their pattern and are selling their product because they don’t know how to make it themselves.
    Now, I’m not saying this is true of EVERY seller with a similar story, but I’m sick of the, “It’s just business….anything to make a buck,” attitude. Lies, lies and more lies.
    It’s sad when the actual handmade work has to be more expensive because it’s time consuming and “handmade”, and those sellers sell less of their “made to order” products because people would rather buy the “made my machines/wholesale, marked-up” crap.
    Oh, but shhhhh it’s really not wholesale; it’s vintage.
    It’s just upsetting. I wish the people who work hard and spend the time on great customer service and have integrity would all do really well. Only in a perfect world, right?
    I realize I’m generalizing a lot here. Tired of the dishonesty and the honest hardworking folks not selling as much of their product and getting duped by dishonest buyers, as well.
    End of rant.

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