Home > Random Musings, Stories from Childhood > A Sign of the Apocalypse: A Jonas Brother Does Les Mis

A Sign of the Apocalypse: A Jonas Brother Does Les Mis

 

You know, I’m sure that if there’s ever an apocalypse, there will be signs. Something absurd, like monkeys will begin to spout sonnets. The farm animals will begin to speak. Perhaps I will finally assent to the fact that baking chocolate will never taste like chocolate. (A cruel trick of my childhood.)

Unfortunately, I am hoping that a Jonas brother performing in a Les Misérables concert isn’t one of them. Oh, I wish I were joking. I really do. Because it is my belief that the Brothers have the combined musical talent of petrified dirt. (Can dirt be petrified? I don’t really know.)

I know that’s a mean thing to say, and somewhere Jiminy Cricket is wagging his finger at me. But putting aside the fact that I have trouble distinguishing the Jonas Brothers, AND the fact that I find their collective dressing habits very Saved by the Bell meets the 80s, I think that the Jo Bros are like Hansen, except HORRIBLE. Granted, I don’t enjoy Hansen, but they can carry a tune.  I’m also not a big fan of boy bands, which means I never had a NKOTB lunchbox. (Mine was BATMAN, thank you.)

Les Mis is one of my favorite musicals. I can’t tell you how many times, as a teen, I pretended to be a vagabond roaming the streets of France, gearing up for the revolution. “A Little Fall of Rain” STILL breaks my heart, and I always thought Marius was a fool, and he should’ve noticed Eponine. But we’re not here to discuss plot.

I Youtubed Nick Jonas performing in the concert, and he is not very good. Yes, he hits the notes, or most of them, but his voice is not strong enough to play Marius, and I (unfortunately) don’t believe a word he is singing. He has the emotional depth and maturity of a blueberry scone (random Buffy reference).

 Somewhere, I have the 15 year anniversary concert on tape. I no longer own a VCR, so it’s packed away. As a child, I had the double disk CD of the original London cast. Few people can match Dave Willets’s version of “Empty Chairs and Empty Tables” (I’m pretty sure that he isn’t part of the original London Cast, but I’m not 100% sure. I can’t find the CD, currently.) I have a lot of random compilation tapes (yes, TAPES) only a vague knowledge about where it’s from.

When Lea Salonga played Eponine, she was resplendent. Absolutely perfect. I would listen to her sing the dictionary, honestly. I would’ve loved to have the 25th anniversary concert on DVD, but if it includes a Jonas (who possibly ripped off Jason Mraz?)

The Broadway girl inside me is breaking a little. Next time, people, hire Neil Patrick Harris. Not only is he AWESOME, but he can sing. That’s talent – not good marketing.

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  1. Jessica
    November 10, 2010 at 9:26 am

    I got to see Lea Salonga play Fantine in the most recent Broadway revival – it was wonderful. I love her. A lot. She actually came to see the show I work for once, and my friends and I all kinda freaked out and saved her credit card receipt. Because we’re dorks. Haha.

    I am chosing to ignore the fact that they let a Jo Bro in the show, however, it can’t possibly be worse than when they let Daphne Rubin-Vega play Fantine. TRAGIC.

    We’re really having this conversation right now, huh? DORKS!

    • Ali
      November 10, 2010 at 10:49 am

      I saw Lea Salonga in concert, by herself, in this awesome little theater. It was so much fun. She did a rendtion of “Someone Else’s Story” from Chess. Totally amazing.

      We ARE dorks — but of the AWESOME variety. 🙂

      • Jessica
        November 10, 2010 at 12:06 pm

        She will also always be awesome to me for being a Disney princess. Haha.

      • Ali
        November 10, 2010 at 1:13 pm

        Oh, totally. Speaking of, I am so looking forward to Tangled. I love that Zachary Levi is doing the voice of the prince. Ah, Chuck….

  2. November 10, 2010 at 11:34 am

    I hear Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga are doing La Traviata… 🙂

    As painful as many newer renditions of famous works can be, I do applaud those that make the effort. The thought of a Jonas Brother doing Les Miserables does bring me a cringe and a sudden need for tylenol, but I always give anyone the opening night. No matter the out come, I will, quietly, admire those who stand under the lights and cast their talents to the unknown.

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